The Courage to Question "Normal"

There’s this tiny word we throw around all the time... NORMAL.

Normal pregnancy symptoms.

Normal postpartum issues/moods.

Normal behaviors from our kids.

Normal health struggles.

Normal food habits.

Normal ways of living.

Normal reactions to things.

And most of the time, “normal” does not actually mean healthy or aligned or even helpful... it just means common. Common does not equal normal, at all. It could mean “this is the way most people do it, so we don’t have to think about it”. In a lot of ways, “normal” is what makes society feel safe and predictable. There’s comfort in routine and shared experiences or expectations.

But friends, there comes a point where “normal” becomes a ceiling. A box. A set of blinders that keeps us from trusting our intuition, our bodies, or our lived experience. And stepping outside that box, asking why instead of just nodding along takes real courage.

That courage is what we want to talk about today.

Why People Cling to “Normal”

Before we dive into the beauty of questioning, it’s worth understanding why “normal” feels so heavy and so unnecessary for so many people.

Normal helps us feel like we belong

Humans are wired for connection. We want to fit in, be accepted, and avoid stadning out in a way that makes others uncomfortable. When everyone around you is doing something... how they birth, how they feed their kids, how they manage their health... it’s easy to slide right into the flow of the group.

Normal is social glue.

Breaking away form it can feel like choosing isolation.

Normal protects people form guilt

This is a big one, especially around health and parenting.

If someone has always done ‘the normal thing”, it can be painful to acknowledge that maybe there were alternatives... especially if those alternative may have been batter for them of their child.

It can feel much easier to say:

“Well, I did all the right things...I guess whatever happened is bad luck.”

That way, there is no responsibility, no uncomfy self reflection and no grief!

When someone challenges “normal”, it can unintentionally stir up old guilt in others, and that is often why questioning gets met with resistance. Not because you’re wrong, but because your courage makes someone else aware of wounds they have yet to heal.

Normal feels safe

Predictability makes us feel like the world is controllable. Even if a system isn’t great, if people know the rules and expectations, they feel a sense of stability.

Questioning normal means walking into uncertainty... and uncertainty triggers fear.

Normal keeps life simple

Thinking takes energy. Researching takes time. Listening to your gut requires quiet and presence. For many people, “normal” is simply easier. It’s the default mode. When we’re stretched thin, exhausted, or overwhelmed, default mode feels like survival.

When “Normal” Becomes Limiting

The problem isn’t that normal exists. The problem is when normal becomes the measuring stick for every choice, especially in areas like health, pregnancy, motherhood, and daily living... where individuality matters deeply.

Here’s how normal can hold us back.

1. It Ignores Individual Differences

No two bodies are the same. No two babies are the same. No two emotional landscapes are the same.

But “normal” tells you:

-This symptom is fine.

-This reaction is normal.

-Everyone does it this way.

-This is just how motherhood is.

When really… you might be experiencing something worth paying attention to.

2. It Turns Off Our Brains

Harsh but true. When someone says “it’s normal,” people stop asking questions. They stop learning. They stop noticing.

Normal becomes a lullaby that puts curiosity to sleep.

3. It Disconnects Us From Our Bodies

If the default answer to every question is “that’s normal,” then we never develop a relationship with our own signals... our hunger, our stress, our cycles, our energy, our intuition.

We can’t advocate for what we don’t notice.

4. It Encourages Outsourcing Wisdom

When normal rules the day, people learn to trust the system more than themselves, even if the system doesn’t actually know their specific body, baby, or family.

A Few Ex4amples

Just to paint the picture:

-Your baby’s rash gets brushed off as “normal,” but your gut says something in the detergent isn’t sitting right.

-You're told it's "normal" to be exhausted all the time postpartum, even though your body is giving you signs it needs deeper nourishment.

-It's "normal" for women to feel disconnected, inflamed, bloated, or anxious... but common doesn’t mean inevitable.

-It's "normal" to eat certain processed foods every day, even though they leave you feeling sluggish and irritable.

At some point, normal stops being a comfort and becomes a cage.

The Courage to Question

So what does it look like to step out of the “normal” lane?

It looks like a mama saying:

-“But why is it done that way?”

-“What are the alternatives?”

-“How did people do this before?”

-“What is my body telling me?”

-“Does this choice align with our family's values?”

It looks like giving yourself permission to gather information, listen to your intuition, and make choices that actually support your wellbeing, not just the status quo.

Questioning Health Norms Is Brave Work

Whether it’s choosing a different approach to nutrition, exploring herbal support, adjusting your postpartum care, advocating during a pediatric visit, changing how your home is set up, or simply saying “I want to understand this better”, questioning takes courage.

Because let’s be honest…

Courage Is Grown Through Discomfort

Real courage isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something that grows every time you sit with the discomfort of:

-people not understanding you

-friends or family questioning your choices

-professionals dismissing your intuition

-feeling temporarily alone

-realizing you have more to learn

-facing the fact that “normal” might not serve you

Courage has stretch marks, mama. It grows with you.

It Can Be Emotionally Taxing

Sometimes questioning “normal” means shedding beliefs you were raised with, or learning that the advice you followed wasn’t aligned with your needs. That’s heavy.

It can also be exhausting to dig, research, read, ask, evaluate, and hold space for both logic and intuition.

But the payoff is big:

• You become a more confident advocate for yourself and your family.
• You make decisions that feel grounded instead of pressured.
• You learn to trust your inner voice.

And that is priceless.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Here’s the heart of it all:

You are allowed to question everything about your health, your birth, your baby, your postpartum journey, your food, your home, and your life. You are allowed to make choices that aren’t the common ones.

And you deserve a village that supports you... not pressures you.

We want to be that village.

A village that says:

-“Ask anything.”

-“You’re safe here.”

-“Your intuition matters.”

-“You don’t have to choose what’s normal—just what’s right for you.”

-“Your health choices are your choices.”

-“We’re here to help you explore, understand, and grow.”

Whether you're diving into more holistic options, wanting gentler approaches, questioning old systems, or simply curious about other ways of supporting your wellness, we want to walk alongside you.

Not to tell you what to think.

But to encourage you to think.

Not to sway you into specific choices.

But to make sure your choices are truly yours.

Conclusion

Keep Learning. Keep Asking. You’re Not Alone.

Questioning “normal” isn’t about rejecting everything that most people do. It isn’t all-or-nothing. It’s not about being rebellious. It’s about being awake. Aware. Connected.

It’s about saying:

-“I want to understand.”

-“I want to choose intentionally.”

-“I want to show up fully for myself and my family.”

It’s about honoring your body, your baby, your story, and your intuition.

So keep learning.

Keep asking.

Keep noticing.

Keep tuning in.

You are not alone on this journey, friend.

You can do this.

And every question you ask is a step toward deeper wisdom, greater alignment, and a life that fits you...not the mold.